Inner Fokus offers a weekly skill-based, non-therapeutic group known as the Strong(her) Girls Group at our Laguna Beach office for girls 7 – 12 and 13 – 17 years old. Each meeting aims to empower girls with a range of activities, such as skits, yoga, mindfulness, relays, and art projects. The topic this month is Positive Coping Strategies. Though we are teaching these skills to children and teenagers, I realized that I needed a refresher on the information for myself and thought others might feel the same way.
We all have our own set of stressors in our microsystems (family, friends, workplace, school, etc.). Stress is not in and of itself problematic; the problem lies with how we respond to various stressors and how we experience that stress-response. Before we talk about how to cope with stressful situations, let’s learn about the two different types of stress: distress and eustress.
Distress is “negative” stress. Typically, when we are in distress, we feel overwhelmed, out of control, and spun out. Some examples of stressors that tend to lead to distress include:
injury or illness to yourself or loved ones
death of a loved one
unemployment
relationship conflicts
sleep problems
fears involving failure, loss, safety, etc.
repetitive negative thought patterns
worrying and anxiety for the future
unrealistic expectations
Eustress (pronounced you-stress), on the other hand, is “positive” stress. Eustress motivates us and focuses our energy and is often a response to a task that we perceive as within our reach and/or that feels exciting. Some examples include:
starting a new job
getting a promotion
taking new classes
starting a new hobby
holiday season
taking a vacation
So now that we know about the two different types of stress, it’s important to know how we can cope with eustress and distress in a positive way. Here are some examples of positive coping strategies:
play an instrument
take a walk or go for a drive
play a game
take a break
work out
drink water or herbal tea
write, draw, paint
go for a hike
go out into nature
talk to a friend
set boundaries and say “no”
assertive communication regarding what is going on for you
volunteer
play with an animal
get enough sleep
eat healthy foods
engage in mindfulness or meditation
schedule self-care time
listen to your favorite podcast
positive self-talk
sports
watch TV/movies
While we have many options (not all listed above) to positively cope with stress, sometimes we use negative coping strategies instead. Sometimes we don’t even realize we are doing it until we think about it more so. Here is a list of negative coping strategies:
acting violent
yelling at someone
overeating or undereating
drinking too much alcohol or caffeine
smoking/vaping/drugs
reckless driving
risky sexual behaviors
lashing out at others
withdrawing from others or events
withdrawing from family and friends
compulsive spending
avoiding responsibilities
procrastination
overscheduling
putting yourself or others down
As you can probably imagine, these negative coping strategies are not helpful for you or anyone else around you. Next time you find yourself engaging in a negative coping strategy, consider how you might shift your response into a more productive and effective strategy, such as those listed above in the positive coping strategies list.
Can you think of any other positive coping strategies that you might add to this list? Please email or comment on this blog and share your thoughts with us!
